Compulsive Eating, Emotional Avoidance, and ADHD- How My Cookie Crumbles

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Addiction and Obsession, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Uncategorized

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So, last night I went to bed pregnant and bloated like a tightly stretched animal hive over an overblown balloon. I did this to myself. Again. I hated myself. Again. I ate that peach cuz fruit is good for you, and then those edamame seeds with the lemon and sea salt cuz that’s healthy too, and then some chocolate-covered raisins cuz my son put them in the grocery cart and why not, and then some salmon with the garlic and lemon and olive oil; and then some watermelon cuz that’s practically like drinking water, and then there was some of this and that left on the counter and we wouldn’t want to throw that away, and then in the fridge there was that almost-empty tubberware taking needed space so we’ll just finish that off; and, you know, those potatoes were really good hot and I wonder how they’d be cold, and oh-I’d-better-eat-my-last-thing-for-the-night-cuz-it’s-getting-late, but then two hours later my son and his friend have made this deep-fried-something-awful crap but they are sitting there laughing and talking so cutely and I want to be part of that energy, and well… Here we are.

I know now. I know this gremlin. I see it happening, stuck on repeat, like a train wreck in slow motion, and I keep recreating this undesired reality. This time my daughter is really pissing me off and that time I’m overwhelmed with all that I have to do; this time I just have the munchies and that other time there was this sensation in my abdominal region and I thought the translation may just be hunger so just to be sure, you know, I’ll go eat.  And I keep telling myself stories and reasoning my way through this poorly written script, cast in an undesirable role in a play I never signed up for. Here we are.

I Have Already Arrived- Seeing Butterflies & The Core Essence of What Is

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Enlightened Learning, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Inspiration and Appreciation, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession, chronic pain, i've already arrived, seeing the butterflies

Butterflies dance and play before me. They flit and flutter and flirt with my soul. They always have, they always do. Sometimes, I just don’t see them. I’m a good student here on Earth School. I’ve failed several times and keep coming back to learn, EVER SO SLOWLY, my blessed lessons. I’ve been missing the butterflies cuz I keep going off somewhere else. Emotionally that is. Physically I’m very much in the room with you, or my kids, or my husband; but, emotionally I’m off far, far away in the past, the present, or in rejecting What Is.

I’ve long stopped believing that this product or that one would make me happy. I’ve long stopped holding my breath for this amount of money or fame to make me truly satisfied. I’ve graduated at least to grade three or four now. I’m currently figuring out that this course, this guru, this healing method, and that relationship won’t fix me. I still think people will make me whole and I’m desperately holding onto the idea that this exercise/diet/method will bring me a body that will be so damn sexy I won’t find any fault with it.

And now, I’m getting it. So many angels later, so many holograms smacking me upside the face later and I’m slowly getting it that I’VE ARRIVED ALREADY!

Chronic Pain and Body Malfunction- The Impossibility of Doing Nothing- Part Six

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Addiction and Obsession, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Enlightened Learning, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession,

THE IMPOSSIBILITY OF DOING NOTHING: That’s what’s so hard here. Not only do I feel totally frustrated. You may as well put me in diapers now. It’s maddening to be constantly correcting yourself over things that you never, ever even gave thought to. And it’s stuff in your face all day long. Remember, I cannot sit, stand, walk, or pick up things correctly. That’s a shitload of correctiveness for one person. And then- the exercises.

A- They are not exercises that I can do and check off my to do list. They are a way of life. Well damn, that’s never getting checked off is it?

B- It’s not Eye of the Tiger go do it! Be strong! Conquer. That’s what got me into a lot of this mess, or exasperated it times 300. My way to get over my addiction was to run, work out, push myself, tone up like a madman. And I was.

Chronic Pain and Body Malfunction- What The Hell Do I Do With Myself- Part 3

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession, chronic pain

Slowly it’s seeping in how bad things are in my body, how off my entire body is. Maybe a reflection of my soul-state, maybe an expression of emotional unresolved issues I’m still carrying around, and/or maybe just evidence of not using my body-machine correctly.

It’s not pretty but so it is. And it’s totally bashing in my ego and all the “I Am Healthy” messages I thought I was. And I was, I was, and I am but this is something deeper, a different section of being blind to my own healthy development. And here is another video of my trying to figure out What The Hell Do I Do With Myself.

Raising Sexually Retarded Children- Unpopular Parenting in A Radically Modern World

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Parenting and Family Relations

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession, chronic pain

“They say that kids who play with their food will have a really great sex life. My daughter is going to be a slut.”

(I wish I remembered who made that up). So, this article is about how to raise sexually retarded kids. Sexually retarded? Why would you do that? Allow me to explain a few things.

I want my kids to have a great sex life, an amazing sex life full of joy and fun and loving intimacy. Our kids have seen too much (including watching us- oh the images!), discussed with us everything including missionaries and sex, and joked with a sexual openness quite advanced for their years. Sex, sexual attraction and jokes, and body changes are all really healthy, natural topics around here. I like it that way. The ‘blow job’ shock, I admit, I was totally unprepared for that one!

But, at the same time, our kids are sexually retarded in this very consciously manipulated way. We believe that modern kids today grow up too fast. Kids are treated and exposed to media and online influences that teaches them that sexuality is cool and desirable as young as possible. When house-sitting in Boquete, Panama, I read Ester’s How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex book by Linda and Richard Eyre. It was amazing and left me with four major insights:

Sixty Eight Days of Silence- What Happens When Life Flows So Fast You Begin To Drown

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Inspiration and Appreciation, Overcoming Ourselves, Vipassana Meditation, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

Oh my loves. How I’ve missed writing/sharing/being with you. Or have I just missed myself and how I reflect the light of who I am off your eyes when I write here? Hmmm…

How glorious would it have been to spend sixty eight days in utter silence? I did it for ten days in my first Vippasana Meditation outside of Battambang, Cambodia and there, was filled with such peace and three times, insights that made the entire puzzle of my life fit together. For those moments, those three times, looking up at at at at at stars, nothing but darkness and stars, crying, I felt all who I was, the energy of me, finally, deeply, truly taste freedom of body. I knew for a few minutes there that I am all frequency, that everything changes, and that I’m so deeply blessed to get to be a part of the life school.

Where Did You Go, My Love? Where Did You Go? Healing and Hiking- Katmandu, Nepal

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Inspiration and Appreciation, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

I have so much to say to you long-lost friend. I have so many half-written posts on draft that I just have to sit down and finish up for your reading pleasure. I have much to share and yet, in 100% honesty, I’d rather be strumming on the guitar. Why?

Cuz I have fears and I have things to do
and both don’t encourage me to sit too much on this blog, my soul-spot. Fears that I’ll be one of those old ladies with the bent back and shortened posture when I am still very young. I want to be sexy and alive and 30 pounds lights yoga master, model of natural living and health and meditation. I want to be my own goddess of body, mind, soul and my body thinks otherwise. I fear this. And so, try to move a lot and not be on the computer a third of the time I used to be.

When Your Body Doesn’t Do What You Want It To- Gratefulness, Overwhelm, and Determination – Part Two

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession,

So, it’s much more serious than I thought. Basically, and I quote, ” What took you forty years to ruin, will take you a year of hard work to fix.” I can do that. I am determined and ready to do the work I need to make my body optimal. It’s crazy how I thought I was so healthy, so into raw food. I lost 30 pounds, toned my body, and have been eating such non-fried, not-too-much-carbs, very little meat and sugar sorts of food. So why did I just fumble around in Kobi’s backpack for the snickers bar that wasn’t there? And why did I feel like a crackhead in withdrawal with terrible shakes when this quick fix isn’t?

So, this journey is long and powerful and amazing. And I’m swishing and swashing like in a washing machine, being pulled and twisted between gratefulness at finally understanding the way to solve my life-long health issues, overwhelm when I realize how much there is before me and how hard this is to retrain every bit of who I am, and determination to face this mountain too, and overcome it.

When Your Body Doesn’t Do What You Want It To- Mommy Tummy and Other Plumbing Frustrations- Part One

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

So, you may know that my plumbing is all messed up. Well, actually, how would you, I’ve never talked about it. So, here’s the deal. Even before kids, but definitively worse since the birth of my last child, my entire digestive/excretion/stomach systems have been mis-wired, plugged up, and not flowing well. Yes, having children born in 2002, 2003, and 2004 may not have been the wisest choice for my sweet body. The only reason we didn’t have intended Baby #4 in 2005 was because of that one physician who thought the mess until my belly button from the umbilical hernia surgery may get intertwined and complicated with another immediate birth. The dear nurse in the hospital had no idea why we burst into laughter when she asked the date of my last period. Between births and breastfeeding, we had to count back years. In month 2 of pregnancy, I looked like month 9 cuz my stomach went, “Oh, I remember this!” and popped out so far that my sister-in-laws would laugh and say I’d need a tent by month 6. Yes, very funny, I know. But, it really was so pitiful all you could do was laugh.

Years after kids, I’d look seven months pregnant by the end of the day, and even worse when I had to go to the bathroom. I was constantly bloated and heavy every single night. So uncomfortable. The heaviness was tough, feeling that unattractive was tough, going to the bathroom was tough. I no longer could go to the bathroom in the regular way people go to the bathroom. I’ll spare you the details. Things overlapped, got tangled, and all messed up. I went to dieticians, gynecologists, and many experts that random people referred me to. I got prodded and poked in a million ways and got nothing. I remember years ago, actually, before I even had the kids, I sat down with this really big wig dietician and told him proudly that I don’t eat white bread or pasta, don’t drink coffee or cola, don’t, don’t, don’t and he writes this all down on his little pad (he was probably just doodling and trying to look engaged). He puts down his drawings, pulls his glasses to the very rim of his nose, and asks, “And you enjoy this form of living?” He dubbed me ‘Irregular Bowel Syndrome’ and charged me $200 for the visit. Thanks Doc.

The following is my journey through this entanglement towards clarity and solutions. Finally, solutions.

The Space To Be A Woman- A Man Strong Enough To Handle the Feminine Power In Full Force

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Inspiration and Appreciation, Parenting and Family Relations, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

Just got this in Facebook and by the beating of my heart and all that it enlightened in me, I knew there were stories unfolding. Deep ones. Here’s the text that comes with it. Thank you What Evolved Women Want .Thank you for the inspirational art, the words, and the energy that reminds us what love, purpose, sex, and a real relationship is all about.  I believe there is so much, so much, so much to learn here.

THE SPACE TO BE A WOMAN

All women cry, all women rage and all women desire to be ravished.

The average man fears this because they’re things he can’t ‘fix’ or ‘handle’.

“Stop crying!” “Calm down!” “You’re such a freak!” are the last words of the man who lacks the ability to hold the space for the full raw feminine power in a woman.

It takes a strong man to allow her to feel safe enough to be all woman.