I Have Already Arrived- Seeing Butterflies & The Core Essence of What Is

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Enlightened Learning, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Inspiration and Appreciation, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession, chronic pain, i've already arrived, seeing the butterflies

Butterflies dance and play before me. They flit and flutter and flirt with my soul. They always have, they always do. Sometimes, I just don’t see them. I’m a good student here on Earth School. I’ve failed several times and keep coming back to learn, EVER SO SLOWLY, my blessed lessons. I’ve been missing the butterflies cuz I keep going off somewhere else. Emotionally that is. Physically I’m very much in the room with you, or my kids, or my husband; but, emotionally I’m off far, far away in the past, the present, or in rejecting What Is.

I’ve long stopped believing that this product or that one would make me happy. I’ve long stopped holding my breath for this amount of money or fame to make me truly satisfied. I’ve graduated at least to grade three or four now. I’m currently figuring out that this course, this guru, this healing method, and that relationship won’t fix me. I still think people will make me whole and I’m desperately holding onto the idea that this exercise/diet/method will bring me a body that will be so damn sexy I won’t find any fault with it.

And now, I’m getting it. So many angels later, so many holograms smacking me upside the face later and I’m slowly getting it that I’VE ARRIVED ALREADY!

Chronic Pain and Body Dysfunction- Falling Apart, Relearning & What Happens When you Mess With the Psoas- Part 4

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Overcoming Ourselves

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession, chronic pain

This is not fun. And I was naive to think it would be fun. I thought it would be some more of my beloved Eye of the Tiger, hear me roar because I am that powerful kind of stuff. It’s not. It’s a slow, maddening being that feels like you are not doing anything. So, I have been doing a lot.

I’ve spent 3-6 hours a day relaxing my psoas and hearing an ocean of things drown me, crash me in waves that tore me to pieces. Who would think that meditating would leave me broken? I knew this from Vippasana, and thought, somehow that it would be different here. So, a couple of videos for you. They say it better than I ever could.

Falling Apart: The Storm of Emotions and Worthlessness That Pours Out When You Touch What was So Deeply Buried

AND

Relearning: The Challenge of Relearning how to Sit, Stand, Lean Over, and Walk

Chronic Pain and Body Malfunction- What The Hell Do I Do With Myself- Part 3

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession, chronic pain

Slowly it’s seeping in how bad things are in my body, how off my entire body is. Maybe a reflection of my soul-state, maybe an expression of emotional unresolved issues I’m still carrying around, and/or maybe just evidence of not using my body-machine correctly.

It’s not pretty but so it is. And it’s totally bashing in my ego and all the “I Am Healthy” messages I thought I was. And I was, I was, and I am but this is something deeper, a different section of being blind to my own healthy development. And here is another video of my trying to figure out What The Hell Do I Do With Myself.

When Your Body Doesn’t Do What You Want It To- Gratefulness, Overwhelm, and Determination – Part Two

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession,

So, it’s much more serious than I thought. Basically, and I quote, ” What took you forty years to ruin, will take you a year of hard work to fix.” I can do that. I am determined and ready to do the work I need to make my body optimal. It’s crazy how I thought I was so healthy, so into raw food. I lost 30 pounds, toned my body, and have been eating such non-fried, not-too-much-carbs, very little meat and sugar sorts of food. So why did I just fumble around in Kobi’s backpack for the snickers bar that wasn’t there? And why did I feel like a crackhead in withdrawal with terrible shakes when this quick fix isn’t?

So, this journey is long and powerful and amazing. And I’m swishing and swashing like in a washing machine, being pulled and twisted between gratefulness at finally understanding the way to solve my life-long health issues, overwhelm when I realize how much there is before me and how hard this is to retrain every bit of who I am, and determination to face this mountain too, and overcome it.

When Your Body Doesn’t Do What You Want It To- Mommy Tummy and Other Plumbing Frustrations- Part One

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

So, you may know that my plumbing is all messed up. Well, actually, how would you, I’ve never talked about it. So, here’s the deal. Even before kids, but definitively worse since the birth of my last child, my entire digestive/excretion/stomach systems have been mis-wired, plugged up, and not flowing well. Yes, having children born in 2002, 2003, and 2004 may not have been the wisest choice for my sweet body. The only reason we didn’t have intended Baby #4 in 2005 was because of that one physician who thought the mess until my belly button from the umbilical hernia surgery may get intertwined and complicated with another immediate birth. The dear nurse in the hospital had no idea why we burst into laughter when she asked the date of my last period. Between births and breastfeeding, we had to count back years. In month 2 of pregnancy, I looked like month 9 cuz my stomach went, “Oh, I remember this!” and popped out so far that my sister-in-laws would laugh and say I’d need a tent by month 6. Yes, very funny, I know. But, it really was so pitiful all you could do was laugh.

Years after kids, I’d look seven months pregnant by the end of the day, and even worse when I had to go to the bathroom. I was constantly bloated and heavy every single night. So uncomfortable. The heaviness was tough, feeling that unattractive was tough, going to the bathroom was tough. I no longer could go to the bathroom in the regular way people go to the bathroom. I’ll spare you the details. Things overlapped, got tangled, and all messed up. I went to dieticians, gynecologists, and many experts that random people referred me to. I got prodded and poked in a million ways and got nothing. I remember years ago, actually, before I even had the kids, I sat down with this really big wig dietician and told him proudly that I don’t eat white bread or pasta, don’t drink coffee or cola, don’t, don’t, don’t and he writes this all down on his little pad (he was probably just doodling and trying to look engaged). He puts down his drawings, pulls his glasses to the very rim of his nose, and asks, “And you enjoy this form of living?” He dubbed me ‘Irregular Bowel Syndrome’ and charged me $200 for the visit. Thanks Doc.

The following is my journey through this entanglement towards clarity and solutions. Finally, solutions.