Part 4: My Addiction: Getting to Grief

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Addiction and Obsession, Overcoming Ourselves

“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” – Rumi

Have I told you lately how much I love Rumi. Rumi’s my man. He does it for me. Thank God for Rumi. In any moment of despair, confusion, lostness…. there is always a Rumi quote to push me back up. And so, I sit here grieving. Grieving a dream that will never actualize. But Rumi says that it will come around in another form… and if Rumi says, he knows. Let’s talk about grief. It’s hard, heavy, thick, choking and very necessary, but not always.

I went to visit her in the week of mourning her husband’s death.  I didn’t know her so well. Sometimes I had to think twice to remember her name. She had one of those hard names to remember. I knew him better. He died slowly, and suffered from a really tough battle with cancer; a battle that ended with him moving into their home to die in the arms of his family. And she was calm, totally calm. Like in a movie calm. She knew that his suffering was over, that her girls got to be there for their dad and held his hand until he died peacefully in their bedroom. She said the morning after, she woke up early and walked into the kitchen, and saw the dawn’s rays shining through the branches of the tree beyond, and she knew, she knew that the world was a kind and beautiful place.

It is from her, from that moment of standing there with tears running down my face, that I knew I needed to study Humanology (formerly called Neo-Psychology). I studied for over two years and it has changed my life and the lives of hundreds I have helped through it.

And yet, I sit here consumed in my own grief over an intimate, dear friendship that no longer has a place in my life. And I grieve, full heartedly. And I know, and Rumi knew, that she knew that in that void other wonderful things will emerge. That in the space that her husband occupied, other wonderful things will now blossom. And I know, I know that in the void of the deep friendship I am mourning, that other beautiful things will emerge. Like those lovely Costa Rican jungle mushrooms that are because of the decay of another; life will bring me other gifts that grow off of the remains of what was.

So, as you watch me suffer, and be sad, and feel sorry for myself in my very personal, very painful loss; know these things:

1- That is is OK, perfectly OK to mourn and be sad. Grief is a natural part of moving on.

2- That I know after I’ve had enough of my drama and pain, that I will grow. But only, when I am ready.

3- That other beautiful things will grow from the ashes of this burnt dream, also.

4- That we all need to let our emotions out and look at them, in order to heal and move on to the next beautiful development and learning that awaits us.

This is part of a 9-part series where I am really real, sharing my deepest darkest moments, in the hope that this too will inspire others and strengthen me in our journies. The rest of the series is here, waiting for you to read, watch, and discuss with me. :=)

Part 1- My Addiction: Consumed by Desire        Part 2- My Addiction: Terrifying Truths

Part 3- My Addiction: Withdrawal                        Part 4- My Addiction: Getting To Grief

Part 5- My Addiction: Seeing the Light                  Part 6- My Addiction: Basking In My Own Light

Part 7- My Addiction: Ricochets of Pain                Part 8- My Addiction: Cleaning The Core

Have you ever had to face grief and mourning? Was it over a job you knew you were going to get, a big deal about to close, the physical death of someone you loved, or an emotional death that took part of your soul with it? Did you allow yourself that blessed space to suffer? Did you feel alone, or did you find support and comfort?


Gabi is a certified trauma therapist, family communications expert, energy healer, and life coach with a Masters in Psychology. She shares her personal life stories and insights to inspire others to share their honest, neurotic selves and do all that is necessary to Clean Your Soul. She believes that all of us are on our journey from pain to the light, and by staying inspired and aware, we can all reach our fullest, cleanest, most beautiful free selves. Don’t miss a single chance to be inspired. Gabi takes a very limited number of one-on-one clients for transformational parenting, family, life, and trauma therapy. You may reach Gabi directly at



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