Butterflies dance and play before me. They flit and flutter and flirt with my soul. They always have, they always do. Sometimes, I just don’t see them. I’m a good student here on Earth School. I’ve failed several times and keep coming back to learn, EVER SO SLOWLY, my blessed lessons. I’ve been missing the butterflies cuz I keep going off somewhere else. Emotionally that is. Physically I’m very much in the room with you, or my kids, or my husband; but, emotionally I’m off far, far away in the past, the present, or in rejecting What Is.
I’ve long stopped believing that this product or that one would make me happy. I’ve long stopped holding my breath for this amount of money or fame to make me truly satisfied. I’ve graduated at least to grade three or four now. I’m currently figuring out that this course, this guru, this healing method, and that relationship won’t fix me. I still think people will make me whole and I’m desperately holding onto the idea that this exercise/diet/method will bring me a body that will be so damn sexy I won’t find any fault with it.
And now, I’m getting it. So many angels later, so many holograms smacking me upside the face later and I’m slowly getting it that I’VE ARRIVED ALREADY!
I Already Am
I don’t need to get healthy. I already am.
I don’t need to get sexy. I already am.
I don’t need to get happy. I already am.
I don’t need to make enough money. I already am.
I don’t need to learn this to make me calm. I already am.
Of course I’m not that perfect at every given moment but the point is that it’s not the future, somewhere after I’ve done, attained, read, learned, changed but now, it’s already arrived. I just didn’t see it cuz I was busy looking for it, seeking it, searching desperately for That Which Is in me.
Yes, I need to act in ways that promote Who I Am. But, I don’t have to seek, to hold my breath with the hopes that I’ll get there. I AM ALREADY THERE.
What Does That Change In My Life
- That I can let go of the addiction to pain, to believing that I’m an emotional basket case, to truly knowing that I’m ‘Fucked Up’ but so it is.
- That I can be joyful and not feel that there is something lacking or incomplete in me and therefore I can’t fully Be Joy.
- That I can continue to learn whatever I want but not from a desperate seeking of salvation but from a curiosity and joy that comes with learning.
- That I can eat healthy food and doing juice fasts or eat raw as I want to because I deeply believe it is good for my body and not because I am desperately adhering and suffering through another lifestyle change so that I can be What I Am Not and not from the fear that if I don’t I shall become What I Am Not.
- That I can eat and do what I want, when I want and live free spirited with the natural flux in the ebb and flow of my body and the changes that occur, and live guilt-free, fear-free, criticism-free and simply enjoy. And that through that energy of Is (and not from the energy of Is Not) I can grow and become my most beautiful, fullest self (and also the most sexy self)!
- That I can live in my sexuality and believe in my own mojo of Who I Am without seeking external gratification and feedback telling me that which I already know.
How do you keep track of your butterflies? What have you done for your health today? Are you also just arriving, just around the corner, going to be complete/whole/happy when you just get there? Damn it, aren’t you sick of putting yourself on hold? Speak. Or don’t. I hear you either way.
Chronic pain will not be my calling card.’ Used to be healthy’ or ‘one day will be healthy’ won’t be either. Already Arrived! Now that’s a calling card. Good day loves.
One Cool Movie About Gabi’s Parenting Work
Gabi is a certified trauma therapist, family communications expert, energy healer, and life coach with a Masters in Psychology. She shares her personal life stories and insights to inspire others to share their honest, neurotic selves and do all that is necessary to Clean Your Soul. She believes that all of us are on our journey from pain to the light, and by staying inspired and aware, we can all reach our fullest, cleanest, most beautiful free selves. Gabi takes a very limited number of one-on-one clients for transformational parenting, family, life, and trauma therapy. You may reach Gabi directly at firstname.lastname@example.org, subject line: coaching inquiry.
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