Posts Tagged ‘Communication’

Mama Said There’d Be Days Like This

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Overcoming Ourselves, Parenting and Family Relations

“Mama said there’d be days like this. there’d be days like this my mama said.”
– Diana Ross

From my private journal:
what a morning, what a last few weeks! i feel like i want them to get away from me, far far away from me. and i know they are adorable, and i know they only need my guidance, and i know they look up at me and don’t understand where their patient, loving, mother is. they look up now and see someone upset, beside herself, disgusted, rejecting, repulsed, and totally unsympathetic. not a nice family picture, i know. but this is what i have right now. no good reason like major stress, money problems, health issues, marital tension.i am feeling very uncomfortable with the weight i’ve gain the last few months. that is not sitting well with me at all. but still, nothing really strong that justifies my intense need to escape them. i’m finding myself these days saying all the things you’re never supposed to tell your kids. i’m belittling, nagging, scolding, threatening, being sarcastic, being ugly on purpose….

What To Do When “I Statements” Don’t Work

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Parenting and Family Relations

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I Statements” are pure magic. They teach us, reprogram us to speak to our children in a new way. “I Statements” teach us to be logical, clear, and non-aggressive in our requests. But, alas! every magic has its limitations. “I Statements” if used improperly will not bring the results you deserve. Read these three most common parent complaints to be sure you are using them to help, not harm, your family communication.

Parent Complaint #1

“It’s so fake! I sound like a robot! I can’t talk this way!”

Of course it’s fake.  We are used to yelling, screaming, blaming, and losing control. Suddenly, limiting our monologue to four bullet points is very awkward. That is the point. We want to create a new dynamic of speech between you and your children: one that works respectfully and effectively.