When The Silence Breaks- Speaking After 10 Day Vippasana Silence (Battambang, Cambodia)

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Vipassana Meditation

towards enlightenment, one step at a time

I’m out and I’m alive. I was scared of drowning, and I did. So, I happily babble cuz damn, it’s hard when you don’t speak for ten days! Oh my God, it’s hard. And interestingly, an hour after the silence broke, I realized that a- I was late for everything b- I lost my shoes, water bottle, and room key, c- I couldn’t stop talking, and d- I had the hugest headache. Unreal the chaos and disorder that enters your life when you start talking and interacting with others.

Being alone, within myself, with zero eye contact with other human beings, with no words being spoken, was a great honor. It was a level of peace and calm, and a safe haven for oceans of pain to come up to the surface and be washed (or at least lovingly caressed). This experience was life-changing, and officially the best ten days of my spiritual life. So, here is me, babbling, joyfully, as I show you the 80 plus wonderful souls I did my first Vippasana with, and what the inside of this world looks like.

towards enlightenment, one step at a time


And oh, I’m so excited to speak again, to use my words, to express myself vocally out to the world, and not just toss and turn, drowning in the inferno of myself, and trust me I’ve got quite the crock pot going on in there. It was unreal, unreal, beyond powerful and so cleansing.

So much more to put up for you to see. If you haven’t seen the before Vippasana videos, you may enjoy seeing the entire step-by-step process.

Clueless- What Comes Up In Total Silence

Facing It- On The Way To Vippasana

Annata- Releasing the “Me, Me, Me” Story

After Vippasana:

A Mom Who Longs To Be





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Comments (5)

  • isabell


    was it actually so hard for you not to speak??


    • Gabi


      hi isabell. no, not speaking part was not hard at all. i loved the silence, totally. the hard part was sitting for 10 hours a day indian style on a mat, not seeing anyone and therefore not having any distractions from everything that came up inside. the killer part was there was nothing to read, write, do to get away from my own thoughts, and so from 4 am (wake up) until 10 pm (lights out) i just listened to my thoughts, which were scattered, insane, tense-ful, confused, pained, and constantly churning. no break from myself was what made it sooo hard. thank u for asking and be taking an interest. there are vippasana centers all over the world, it’s free (donation only), so i do hope if you are curious at all, that u consider going. it is soooo powerful. if you go, tell me how it was. have you ever tried sitting on your bed for ten hours. besides going to pee and eat something light, try it once for a few hours. don’t jot down any notes, fold laundry, check your inbox, nothing. just sit there. crazy what comes up. love to hear your thoughts.huge hug to u, gabi


      • Isabell


        I finished my 10 days vipassana in Kanchanaburi (Thailand).It was probably one of the hardest things i ever done! It was so much pain physically and emotionally.But i did it and i am proud. I am not enlightened or complete other person, but i belief it can change life. i learned a lot about buddhism,equanimity and myself.
        Wich days were the hardest for you? love, Isabell


  • Tifffiney Lozano


    Hi Gabi,

    In the midst of planning our own great family escape (we are a family of 4, two children under the age of 5) I stumbled across your blog.

    Your desire for connection with the spirit and growth really resonate with me–as does the need to use expletives and bitch at your husband : ) When I began reading your archives–I realized my thoughts are more normal than I feared!

    I was actually signed up for a mediation retreat and backed out right at the last minute. The retreat was scheduled for the day after halloween, and I thought it was a bad idea to isolate myself with the incessancy of my own thoughts with a possible hang over!

    Thank you for living your truth and inspiring others to live theirs. Perhaps our paths will cross when we make it out into the world once again!


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