First off, have a good laugh for I am in the bathroom, and I know that it looks like I’m actually on the toilet. (Didn’t think that one through before I started the recording!) I have found lately that the bathrooms here in the hostel are my best bet for a quiet recording. And so, here we are, intimate as ever, right?
And now, to our business…Yet again, here we are, going through this process. I am facing a desire that I cannot have, a desire that is consuming me. And I’ve decided to face this head on and look it in the eyes. And in here, you can hear the pain, you can hear the utter insanity including giving up my life, dying in order to have my desire.
And I must admit to you now that this is a scary process but one that you can certainly do alone, by yourself, or with the help of a trusted friend. Or, if facing that is too scary for you, you need to find a therapist you trust and get help. So, with the help of another or by yourself; you simply let the desire voice its full tenor, you allow, you actually invite the desire to be all-encompassing and say/be/do/wish to its fullest fire. And as it drowns you, as it overtakes all that you are; you hold on and know that you are strong enough to stand it/to witness it. You allow it to grow as big as it needs, and just watch… it will dissipate.
As soon as we allow the emotional brain to express himself, as soon as we allow the emotional self that legitimate space that it needs; it can make the room for something else. I’ve done a similar exercise that also works wonders from Brandon Base’s The Journey. You can read more about her work on her site. In it you invite yourself to feel each emotion that arises to the fullest, and then look beyond at the next emotion. As you go through the layers, you reveal the core of your pain, and eventually, find peace. It is marvelous as well.
Have you ever felt drowned by your desires? Have you ever faced something that you wanted so badly, that we were willing to forgo everything, just to have it? Have you stood at the brink of that dark pit and allowed yourself to fall/allowed yourself to enter that despair and see what happens? Did you know that you, like me, are strong enough to face your unhealthy desires? You are. Share with me.
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