Conscious Suffering- How I Drag Myself Back Down

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Addiction and Obsession, Buddhism, Overcoming Ourselves

And I hug myself, again, as I witness me walking right into my own hand-made drama, again. Enlightened? (Sigh) A bit more. At Peace? No. There? Probably never. As Cat used to lovingly say, “There will always be a bathtub more of spiritual work to do.” I am calmer, more full of light than I have ever been in my life; and still, my addiction, that one story, I can’t let go of. Not yet. I guess I have more to learn. And so, I search in Buddhism, Quantum Physics, and deep within the oceans of myself.

I have lived on the lip of insanity,
wanting to know reasons,
knocking on a door. It opens.
I’ve been knocking from the inside. – Rumi

Buddhism says our senses, and the consciousnesses that come from that, create a direct path to our suffering. How do my senses drag me back down? I’m looking for some guidance for me, and maybe for you, too. 

Being an Ethical Person:The Eight-Fold Path-Part 2

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Buddhism

The Eight-Fold Path of Buddhism is our road map towards Nirvana. Once we can make these eight principles a living, breathing part of who we are; according to Buddha, we will be enlightened. Now, though it sounds remarkably enticing, and I would love enlightenmet as much as the next guy; I know how much pain I carry, I know how many layers upon layers of work I have to do. I don’t know if I can get it all done this time around. But, I’ll tell you this: I’m having a great time trying. Just wrestling with this material is slowing seeping into my soul and changing how I  relate to the very painful stories I carry (which amazingly, are becoming less and and less painful); and,  how I pause before I say something belittling to my child, and rephrase it, with more light. If those two things alone, I can do by breathing more of this material into my soul, I’m in. I’m 100% in the game. Join me for round two, as we explore Buddhism’s blueprint for acting in ethical ways.

Seeking Wisdom: The Eight-Fold Path- Part 1

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Buddhism

I completed my Bachelor’s degree in 2000 and was really confused. I had studied preventative and holistic health, I learned how to create meaningful, long-term change programs; but really was fascinated with nutrition. Do I go back and get another Bachelor’s in order to be a registered dietitian or do I spend those years getting a Master’s in Psychology? One night, I was reading through all the potential programs I could join; overwhelmed, confused, unable to decide. I was crying to Kobi, wishing someone would just tell me what to do. He turns to me and says, thoughtfully, “Do you know how many people would die to have the right to choose. It’s an honor,  Gabi. Grab it with both hands, and with pride.” I love Kobi that way.

But still, sometimes, it’s really nice when someone does tell you what to do, or at least points in the direction for you to go in. Someone says, “Hey, this may work for you. I has eight parts, and if you do them all; you may find great relief.” I like that. Of course, we can choose from the endless array of paths before us. Right now, I’m picking this path. It’s three-part. These days, I’m exploring Buddhism, Quantum Physics, and my own inner whirlwinds. I’ll keep bringing in my energy healing, family coaching, behavioral psychology, self-healing Humanology, trauma therapy, NLP….. it’s an integral part of who I am. So, now that we’re on the same page….

Buddhism 101: Seeking Wisdom: The Eight Fold Path- Part 1

The Four Noble Truths

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Buddhism

So, this is month three in a Buddhist country. We’ve lived in the same lovely corner in Cambodia for almost two months now and I still haven’t found a teacher. I want a teacher. I am seeking a teacher. I want to be taught. And so, I’ve taken matters in my own hands (even though I know the Universe is doing it all for me). I’ve decided to be my own teacher. So, from now on, my Clean Your Soul Spirituality Class is based on stuff I know nothing about it. I’m not challenged by teaching what I already know; I’m so ADHD, I get bored faster than a lizard watching his tongue on the blue wall; and so, I’m joyfully spending tens of hours a week researching Buddhism and it’s intricacies to learn new material.

And some of it is really hard to grasp. Some of these concepts,I don’t get the first nor the second time I’m reading it. Many of them, I can lightly grasp, and then a week or so later, after reading another 10 articles, I have that “A-ha!” moment where I really get what I taught the week before. And so, now, I”m slowly teaching those lessons here at I’m excited to bring Buddhism (and whatever else sticks in

Dell’s sand storm) to you, in tiny bite-size pieces. At least that is my original intention. As I write, I often find my soul intertwining inself deep into the material and complicating matters. And so, you get the real stuff- theoretical learning and an actual live, bleeding person practicing on herself, as she wrestles with her own demons, and yours.

In this article, we will look at the Buddhism’s Four Noble Truths. They are remarkably simple yet profound.

Karuna, Metta, Panna- Siem Reap, Cambodia

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Buddhism

Morning Chants, Monks of Siem Reap, Cambodia

Karuna, Metta, and Panna. Three words I’m using a lot this week. I am teaching here at Garden Village Guesthouse my Clean Your Soul Spirituality class. We talked this week a lot about Karuna– compassion and how we want to look at each person as a mother looks at her child. We spoke of Metta, loving kindness to all beings, and Panna– wisdom or pure consciousness that we can reach once we embark on the 8-Fold Path. It made me think of how the king looked at us. That love, that energy, that karuna, that metta.

So, I’m reading about this remarkable stuff, about how to look at the world with kindness in your heart. About how I want to be within myself, and to my world. And, look how the universe has become a loving mirror, bringing to me these gifts. In How To Love Myself- Part Two, we talked about how we become a magnet to that which we seek most. We talked about how when I center my love to myself, I will attract to me that frequency. And here, now, it is happening in huge and tiny ways. I bow to them all, and am honored to share them with you.

How To Love Myself- Part Two

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Buddhism, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing

I went from hating to blaming to tolerating myself.

And then, from forgiving (somewhat) to partially accepting to liking myself.

And then, from totally forgiving myself, to….. (I once was blind, but now I see…) loving myself!

And now, it’s problematic. Out of control. I am madly, passionately in love with me; and I can’t think of almost anything that could change that. I can be a total bitch to my husband AND kids (ask them); be in my own darkest misery; be wrong, evil, lazy, immoral, selfish, irresponsible; and yup, I’m still wholly adoring myself to the core. Just give me a mirror and watch me make out! It wasn’t always this pretty. Welcome to Part 2 of this ‘how to’ series.

How To Love Myself- Part 1

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Buddhism, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing

Louis Hay says that all humans suffer from not loving themselves and guilt. What a shame that that is what we all share: a mountain of barriers to loving ourselves and a few pounds of guilt. I worked with a brilliant, beautiful young soul this week who does not love herself. She does not. She has lots of reasons why. She justifies well. “You know, I, I, I guess it’s just a funny situation,” she says. And so, I dedicated  Monday’s Clean Your Soul class to love. This four-part series looks at four magnificent quotes and some marvelously deep and moving conversational points to guide us to our own deep, light-ful, maternal love. Enjoy!