It started out as an innocent enough walk through town. Objective: To obtain food. And what happened was I followed my family through those sweltering alley ways and booths holding everyone’s stuff until I felt like a trash can/closet/servant, and walking next to kids who rambled on incessantly without even a second for me to hold a thought of my own, and constant complaints and “but I wanted to walk next to Mommy” and me feeling that my opinion and desire to find a place with a salad were totally insignificant. It was a very personal inferno of hell, a traumatic stuckness that begged for some wild insane outburst to relieve me from myself. But no. I just walked on, one foot in front of the other, ‘anicca’ing the entire way.
‘Anicca’ing is my superimposed Buddhist verb-i-zation of nouns and adjectives to make things make sense for me. ‘Anicca,’ now coincidentally tattooed on my husband’s right shoulder, is the Pali word for ‘impermanence.’ It means that all passes, changes, flows, comes and goes, and for me, it helps me learn (slowly) that there’s no reason to get all hung up on this or that really painful or really tempting issue for it will all change anyhow. So, when things get tough, I fall down, I get depressed and desperate, I lose myself in temptation, I annica it, and, somehow, it passes, and life carries on. The frequency, duration, and intensity of my fall-outs have significantly lessened. Significantly, and how this happens, I’d like to share with you: Six Ways To Regain Sanity When You and Your Family Are Falling Apart