My Addiction- Accepting and Releasing: Part 9

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Addiction and Obsession, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession,

“I shall go the way of the open sea, to the land I knew before you came, and the cool ocean breezes shall blow me from the memory of your name.” Laurence Hope

I’m spending a lot of time facing the Pacific Ocean, and sometimes; I feel that way. That I wish it just never happened, I wish I had not fallen into that whirlwind, I wish my soul did not connect so deeply/need so badly/love so fully the heart/space/addiction/drug of that which was. Do you ever wish you could erase that addiction, that drug, that alcohol, that entire phase in your life where you lost touch with reality to something that gave you that adrenaline rush that you thought was real? Sometimes, I still wish I could erase all that was, that it would have never existed, for surely the pain I have gone through filling the void where my addiction once so significantly stood; has been soul-wrenching. But then a stronger knowing comes….

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession,

“And I, I’m glad I didn’t know. The way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could of missed the pain, but I’d a had to miss The Dance. “- Garth Brooks

I am meant to learn great things from every single thing the Universe brings me. I am destined for greatness, and my greatness occurs also now, in these quiet, painful moments. As you follow my process through my addiction, you see how overbearing and all-encompassing it has become.  I set out to share with you in 6 steps how to overcome an addiction, and was fully intending that half of these posts be inspirational, educational tools of great empowerment and inner-strength, and yet something else, sorta like life, emerged. It became a real journal of hell, of lost and found, and lost again.

And,  I know that I am in my Emotional Mind. I know that I must go through my Logical Brain in order to reach my Spiritual System. I know that I can expiate this learning, and yet, here I am, so long later, feeling this tightening/suffocating in my chest.

 

In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
Ive changed my face, Ive changed my name
But no one wants you when you lose

Dont give up
cos you have friends
Dont give up
Youre not beaten yet
Dont give up
I know you can make it good

Though I saw it all around
Never thought I could be affected
Thought that wed be the last to go
It is so strange the way things turn

Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground

Dont give up
You still have us
Dont give up
We dont need much of anything
Dont give up
cause somewhere theres a place
Where we belong

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life,addiction and obsession,

Rest your head
You worry too much
Its going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Dont give up
Please dont give up

got to walk out of here
I cant take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That rivers flowing
That rivers flowing

Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs

This is part of an 8, now 9 🙂 part series, which continues ever more into “Conscious Suffering” and on. It’s my journey, I can cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you…..

Part 1- My Addiction: Consumed by Desire        Part 2- My Addiction: Terrifying Truths

Part 3- My Addiction: Withdrawal                        Part 4- My Addiction: Getting To Grief

Part 5- My Addiction: Seeing the Light                  Part 6- My Addiction: Basking In My Own Light

Part 7- My Addiction: Ricochets of Pain                Part 8- My Addiction: Cleaning The Core

Thoughts

It’s the series that never ends because I never do. Truth be told, I continue to grow and change and develop and am now so many months different then here, and yet the same. I found this in draft on the blog and knew I had to share it. And, when I am ready, I need to share with you even the more recent, more light-filled developments.

Speak, I’m here.

PHoto credits are the best:  woman flowingman in shower, bridge. Aren’t these artists amazing?

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Gabi is a certified trauma therapist, family communications expert, energy healer, and life coach with a Masters in Psychology. She shares her personal life stories and insights to inspire others to share their honest, neurotic selves and do all that is necessary to Clean Your Soul. She believes that all of us are on our journey from pain to the light, and by staying inspired and aware, we can all reach our fullest, cleanest, most beautiful free selves. Don’t miss a single chance to be inspired. Gabi takes a very limited number of one-on-one clients for transformational parenting, family, life, and trauma therapy. You may reach Gabi directly at gabiklaf@gmail.com.

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