When Your Body Doesn’t Do What You Want It To- Gratefulness, Overwhelm, and Determination – Part Two

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

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So, it’s much more serious than I thought. Basically, and I quote, ” What took you forty years to ruin, will take you a year of hard work to fix.” I can do that. I am determined and ready to do the work I need to make my body optimal. It’s crazy how I thought I was so healthy, so into raw food. I lost 30 pounds, toned my body, and have been eating such non-fried, not-too-much-carbs, very little meat and sugar sorts of food. So why did I just fumble around in Kobi’s backpack for the snickers bar that wasn’t there? And why did I feel like a crackhead in withdrawal with terrible shakes when this quick fix isn’t?

So, this journey is long and powerful and amazing. And I’m swishing and swashing like in a washing machine, being pulled and twisted between gratefulness at finally understanding the way to solve my life-long health issues, overwhelm when I realize how much there is before me and how hard this is to retrain every bit of who I am, and determination to face this mountain too, and overcome it.

How To Live With Your Addiction- Woo Away, I’m Not Falling For It

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Addiction and Obsession, Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Overcoming Ourselves

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, addiction and obsession, clean your soul, inspiration for life

It just hit me so hard I can’t breath. Can’t. Breathe. I’m drowning. Rolling down, down, down into it, groping for air, for some root to hold onto to keep me in the sunshine, but the sun is gone and the roots have all rotted. I was just now sitting there smiling at my life, looking at my loving husband with admiration and gratitude, cherishing the gentle touch of my child’s sweet words, and then BAM! It’s back. I thought we were over this? You know exactly what I’m talking about. Your version may be different, may be more colorful, messier, and still impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t been through it, but you know. You feel his finger grazing your thigh, you smell that which reminds you how that drug/alcohol/person used to make you feel, you hear that song and it brings you back to a you who was so much more alive and beautiful, not the you in the mirror today. And all around you, all the blessings and logic and love in your life, vanish, vacuumed up into an abyss of never-again’s and what-if’s that you know simply no longer have a place in your life.

And yet it won’t go away. It won’t.

Would you almost lose it all again for this addiction? Do you remember how insane you got last time? 

No, I would not. Yes, I do. I do. I do.

When Your Body Doesn’t Do What You Want It To- Mommy Tummy and Other Plumbing Frustrations- Part One

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Chronic Pain and Living Pain-Free, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

So, you may know that my plumbing is all messed up. Well, actually, how would you, I’ve never talked about it. So, here’s the deal. Even before kids, but definitively worse since the birth of my last child, my entire digestive/excretion/stomach systems have been mis-wired, plugged up, and not flowing well. Yes, having children born in 2002, 2003, and 2004 may not have been the wisest choice for my sweet body. The only reason we didn’t have intended Baby #4 in 2005 was because of that one physician who thought the mess until my belly button from the umbilical hernia surgery may get intertwined and complicated with another immediate birth. The dear nurse in the hospital had no idea why we burst into laughter when she asked the date of my last period. Between births and breastfeeding, we had to count back years. In month 2 of pregnancy, I looked like month 9 cuz my stomach went, “Oh, I remember this!” and popped out so far that my sister-in-laws would laugh and say I’d need a tent by month 6. Yes, very funny, I know. But, it really was so pitiful all you could do was laugh.

Years after kids, I’d look seven months pregnant by the end of the day, and even worse when I had to go to the bathroom. I was constantly bloated and heavy every single night. So uncomfortable. The heaviness was tough, feeling that unattractive was tough, going to the bathroom was tough. I no longer could go to the bathroom in the regular way people go to the bathroom. I’ll spare you the details. Things overlapped, got tangled, and all messed up. I went to dieticians, gynecologists, and many experts that random people referred me to. I got prodded and poked in a million ways and got nothing. I remember years ago, actually, before I even had the kids, I sat down with this really big wig dietician and told him proudly that I don’t eat white bread or pasta, don’t drink coffee or cola, don’t, don’t, don’t and he writes this all down on his little pad (he was probably just doodling and trying to look engaged). He puts down his drawings, pulls his glasses to the very rim of his nose, and asks, “And you enjoy this form of living?” He dubbed me ‘Irregular Bowel Syndrome’ and charged me $200 for the visit. Thanks Doc.

The following is my journey through this entanglement towards clarity and solutions. Finally, solutions.

The Space To Be A Woman- A Man Strong Enough To Handle the Feminine Power In Full Force

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Inspiration and Appreciation, Parenting and Family Relations, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

Just got this in Facebook and by the beating of my heart and all that it enlightened in me, I knew there were stories unfolding. Deep ones. Here’s the text that comes with it. Thank you What Evolved Women Want .Thank you for the inspirational art, the words, and the energy that reminds us what love, purpose, sex, and a real relationship is all about.  I believe there is so much, so much, so much to learn here.

THE SPACE TO BE A WOMAN

All women cry, all women rage and all women desire to be ravished.

The average man fears this because they’re things he can’t ‘fix’ or ‘handle’.

“Stop crying!” “Calm down!” “You’re such a freak!” are the last words of the man who lacks the ability to hold the space for the full raw feminine power in a woman.

It takes a strong man to allow her to feel safe enough to be all woman.

The Most Important Lessons Our Children Teach Us

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Parenting and Family Relations

I found an old workbook page today from Solai’s English from 6 months ago. This particular page was teaching that nouns are also an idea, “things we cannot see or touch such as bravery, beauty, or honesty.”

So, sentence number two said:

Truth and justice are two things that are highly valued.

I asked Solai if she could use ‘justice’ in a sentence:

Kittens, Motherhood, and Retarded Angel-Souls Across the Globe- Life on the Road Sighs- The Philippines

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Enlightened Learning, Inspiration and Appreciation, Parenting and Family Relations

 

Kitten outside. Small tiny face. Furry. Fuzzy, really. Big eyes. Sweet soul. Dahnya, my eldest, has a new goal in life. She says to me yesterday, “I will make her fat and strong before we leave here, and then she’ll have a good chance to live.” Oh. Found cat in a basket hanging over a booth in the market. No one wanted the kitten.

Watching kids play with cat, cuddle her, run to her cries, fills me with joy. Maybe they’ll learn how confusing the dependency of a child is, that desire to help, to soothe, to provide, that love that loves you right back, but still disturbs your movie/game/lunch/conversations. I’m closest to the front door so I hear even the faint cries most. I smile, “Dahnya, your baby,” and she sighs in a way I can relate to, and runs outside. Sometimes she tells me, “Can you tell her one. second. please?” and I get that too. I know, love, I know, and I love it that you are learning through the kitten.

I also love it that we played Uno today, us and our new special friend Raffy and this German backpacker we met two-doors down. I mentioned their meeting from yesterday on Facebook and wanted to share it with you.

The Reality of Family Life on the Road- Rain for the Limping Soul- Philippines

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Parenting and Family Relations, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

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It’s raining outside. Since twin Michele Fox from El Paso told me once that she liked the rain, I thought, “Oh, that’s an option?” for I always thought you were supposed to complain when it rained. But she liked it, so back in tenth grade I decided to love it too. I love precipitation sprinkling, misting, pounding, slanting and slapping, whirling, with dramatic booms and clashes, and pitter-pattering. I especially adore when it rains and I take the time to watch it, listen to it, converse with it. The rain always has something to say, something to wash away, something to purify. Like Gaia’s water cycle itself, the rains come to remind us nit-witted simpletons of the never-ending cleansing and washing away that happens in our bodies, minds, and souls. We’re learning every day, even if we’re stubborn and resist it.

She reminds me to stop and note that I, too, am a part of this natural world, that I too am rain.

And so, it is with great joy in my heart that I share with you that it’s raining here in MoalBoal, Philippines, and all that stuckness from the miserable Country #12 Contest post and the detailed family misery in When You and Your Family Are Falling Apart has washed away. Like the rain. We thought we were homeless again, and now we’re not; we thought we were spiraling into perpetual lostness, and now we’re not; we thought we were sick of being the nomadic family, and now we’re not. Have a seat friends. I’ll boil the water.

Dear Lilly- A Love Letter from a Father to His Daughter

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Addiction and Obsession, Enlightened Learning, Inspiration and Appreciation, Parenting and Family Relations

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing, parenting, mindful parenting, clean your soul, inspiration for life
GabiKlaf.com has brought amazing people into my life. People who radiate and flow in the same frequency that I do , that we do. One such person is Pete Giargente (aka: Peter Greyson). He is just a dad, like any other dad, who is doing the best he can. This dad in particular spends a lot of time talking about his addictions, his slimy ways with women, his life choices that got him a lot of what he wanted in life and hurt many a young ladies along the way. He shares this in a love letter to his daughter Lilly, and found out that a lot of people are inspired by his story. His book, Dear Lilly, shares in angle we would have never imagined the truths that some of us women need to hear. Maybe it can bring some closure to those of us who believed sweet lies that left our hearts broken. Maybe his work can inspire other young teenage girls out there to know that we all seek love, being seen, being touched, feeling special, and unfortunately, even those with the sweet eyes and tender fingers and smile, can lie to get what he wants. And broken hearts (or worse)  don’t happen to someone else, but to us.

Six Ways To Regain Sanity When You and Your Family Are Falling Apart

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Buddhism, Enlightened Learning, Overcoming Ourselves, Parenting and Family Relations, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

It started out as an innocent enough walk through town. Objective: To obtain food. And what happened was I followed my family through those sweltering alley ways and booths holding everyone’s stuff until I felt like a trash can/closet/servant, and walking next to kids who rambled on incessantly without even a second for me to hold a thought of my own, and constant complaints and “but I wanted to walk next to Mommy” and me feeling that my opinion and desire to find a place with a salad were totally insignificant. It was a very personal inferno of hell, a traumatic stuckness that begged for some wild insane outburst to relieve me from myself. But no. I just walked on, one foot in front of the other, ‘anicca’ing the entire way.

‘Anicca’ing is my superimposed Buddhist verb-i-zation of nouns and adjectives to make things make sense for me. ‘Anicca,’ now coincidentally tattooed on my husband’s right shoulder, is the Pali word for ‘impermanence.’ It means that all passes, changes, flows, comes and goes, and for me, it helps me learn (slowly) that there’s no reason to get all hung up on this or that really painful or really tempting issue for it will all change anyhow. So, when things get tough, I fall down, I get depressed and desperate, I lose myself in temptation, I annica it, and, somehow, it passes, and life carries on. The frequency, duration, and intensity of my fall-outs have significantly lessened. Significantly, and how this happens, I’d like to share with you: Six Ways To Regain Sanity When You and Your Family Are Falling Apart

Learning of Rape Through The Massage Table- Overcoming What We Don’t Know

Written by Gabi on . Posted in Energy, Light, & Self-Healing, Healthy Weight Loss & Lifestyle, Overcoming Ourselves, Who Is Gabi Klaf?

gabi klaf, health and wellness coach, healthy lifestyle coach, family therapsy, mom blog, healthy weight loss for busy moms and dads, inspiration, energy healing

I was raped. I’m sure of it, but not when. This life? Maybe, more likely not, but, some life, sometime, I was. I am sure of it. There are too many indicators that left me appalled by my own skin, inflicting abuse by picking scabs until I bled and couldn’t wear shorts my entire life, emotional eating episodes, unexplained repulsion and hiding my body under layers of cloth. Reasons, some I can personally recognize- he said this, she looked at me like that, and many more, I know my soul can spin many tales about. But regardless if yes or not, and when, it no longer bares the weight I carried with it all those years. It’s gone, gone, gone. [Deep breath of relief.]

This I only recently remembered, and looking at it, fascinates me like some eerily familiar case study of someone clearly separate from myself. I studied Humanology (formerly Neo-Psychology) for two years. The best way I can explain this eclectic science is a holistic type of meta-physical Buddhist-tinged self-healing regression therapy. It’s truly amazing, and has brought me and countless clients remarkable results.

So, I was sitting in a new classes, new semester, new students. In comes Irit, a bouncy adorably large woman with amazing energy. She’s married to Yossi, who volunteered at our kids’ school. Fast forward two months later…. She asks me how I’m doing with the body thing one day. “What body thing?” I’m clueless, and had totally forgotten how I initially knew her years before she was the volunteer-guy’s wife. A friend suggested Irit when I told her I wanted to spoil Kobi and I for a good massage. Having never gotten one, I was nervous and called to verify some details, all of which I had totally forgotten about until she spilled it out there in the tones usually reserved for light how’s-the-weather chit chat. “You acted like a rape victim. I was sure you had experienced some severe physical abuse.” she chirped. WTF?? I was floored and stared at her numb, having zero recall of this entire issue.