Who Is Gabi Klaf?
Clean Your Soul Course in Siem Reap, Cambodia, Me not running away from Me
Isn’t that funny? I teach enlightenment and all about creating more light in your soul, and here I am avoiding mine. I’ve been meaning to write all the amazing spiritually things I know for months now, and I’ve completely ignored this site. I was invited to start teaching my Clean Your Soul Course here in Cambodia and wrestled it for weeks. Why? Why would I run away from who I am? Why would I try to escape the core of my being? Why would I not want to teach others the very matter that I believe in most? Why would I consciously choose to not engage my heart and soul in what I know will help it breathe? I’ve come up with a few ideas….
I Prefer Suffering
We all do sometimes. And I, I, I well… I was just having too much fun being miserable. I didn’t want to talk about the soul, enlightenment, being in the now, finding that inner light that we’ve forgotten about because I was really into suffering. I was really scarred and bruise about overcoming my own worst loss in life, and I guess, I was not ready to let go of that, that identity. Waving the flag of misery has it’s definite advantages.
And I knew, I knew it so clearly, that as soon as I would start teaching Clean Your Soul again, that I would have to face my gremlins. I knew that as soon as I started treating others again, that I would have to look into my own pain and make a choice: keep swimming in it or get over it. I didn’t want to make that choice, not consciously anyhow.
That’s Weird
I used to not talk about the spirituality things until waaaay later in my parenting courses. On my radio show, I’d only lightly brush upon implicit little hints of spiritual underpinnings. Why? Cuz it’s weird and I never wanted to be weird. Cool, eccentric, hippie, different, special- yes, totally! I was always going for those. But weird- no. I never wanted to be looked upon as weird, odd, out-there, coo-coo, strange. And so, I have spent a great deal of the last six years not showing my spiritual side because I didn’t want anyone to think I was weird.
And so, whenever I’m invited to touch energy healing, holistic trauma therapy, self-healing, and Humanology; I need to take a minute and recognize that very Earthly reaction I have to it to feel ‘normal’. As I travel the world, I spend more time out of the spiritual teachings than I do in them. I get joyfully busy with our family travel blog, with educating my kids, with cutting salads and playing guitar, with licking my own wounds, with getting to know the locals, with volunteering, with exercising; and very conveniently, I can spend months not in spirituality. So, widening this space in my soul in essence means inviting its whole, powerful miraculous self into my life.
So What’s A Girl To Do?
Duh? Accept the invitation. And I have. I have accepted the invitation to face what I know will bring me the greatest relief. Accept the invitation back to myself, my purer, cleaner, calmer self. Accept the invitation to alife without drama. And though I know I’ve wound a great web of dependency on drama, I’ve lived off of it for years; I know now I can walk, every day with spirituality shining from within me, out. I know I can accept the invitation to stay in the pleasant, buzzing frequency of being exactly who I am meant to be, even if it is weird.
I used to listen to people talking about this ‘out there’ stuff and think (as my sister says) that it’s so ‘foo-foo’. Now I know, it’s not. Now, I know its the endless possibilities we weren’t aware were possible. It’s the ability to touch happiness, and hold onto it for longer and longer spurts of time.
And so, I’ve begun to work again. I’m teaching groups, working with individual clients, and writing articles with fire and passion in my fingertips. I am touching people’s hearts, improving their lives, widening their souls; and it feels so unearthly good. When you walk in your light, it feels good.
What Now?
I choose to admire my kids. such moments of enlightenment.
I’ll give you my ‘to do’ list:
1-Bask in my own light.
2- Do whatever my soul wants.
3- Deeply listen to others, and see what it reflects in me.
4- Prepare for my class by reading material that inspires me.
5- Write my spiritual stuff.
6- Watch (in pure delight) the puppy and her mom play in the sand.
7- Take lots of pictures. That inspires me.
8- Wake up whenever I wake up.
9- Dance to music I love.
10- Be totally appreciate, inspired, and spiritual.
11- Exercise.
12- Watch my kids, and admire who they are, right now.
13- Write some more.
Amen.
You know I want to hear how this material meets your soul. Does it hurt, does it sit on something true for you? Does it remind you of that time you avoided who you were, but then re-decided? Are you now at that place where you know, you know, you know you should decide? Let me know. I’m here.
You can find me on twitter, Facebook, and, of course, this inspirational, enlightenment blog.
Gabi
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